Back home

Today, they told me that the airport will return to work after two weeks, in fact, and if the news is still within expectations and subject to the retreat of Corona Virus and finish guarantee time , but I do not know how my feelings fluctuated, between my longing for my country and my wife and my children and my family, and between here, the place where we sat around The three months, the hotel in the beginning, and then this house that I rented, and I sat in it for long days. I did not go out from among its walls, except for the shop and grocery on the same street, perhaps not far from fifty meters, a long strip of memories , and the strange thing is that all these memory In an area not exceeding forty square meters, it was accompanied by sadness and pain, and in some stages it reached the severe depression , and crying …. My career was at the maximum between the kitchen and the living room, and of course lazy to cook food, my visits to the kitchen most of the time were to prepare a cup of coffee or a cup of tea ….. and my friends were five and They are ….. a cup of coffee or tea, my pen, a small notebook, my glasses, my best friend, who pays for me all the time and patience and calms my nerves, which carried me a lot in its operation and charging and messing with it was my phone and it was the connection Between me and my wife, my children, and my family …. And I spend a long time in the bedroom on the bed fickle ….. and invent some dreams sometimes to give myself some hope and strength ….. I used this period to be alone Perhaps it was a big prison, or a prison with a little freedom, I was accompanied by thoughts full of frustration and fear … and I imagined it as the end of the world …. away from everyone I love …. I do not hide, after hearing the news of the airport, happiness shy returned to me And hope to meet ……. but I am used to this big prison … I feel that it will not fit me the size of places anymore …. I will not drive my car and go for a walk … I will not sit in my garden … I will remain in my current size ….. forty square meters … enough .. for me … and for the one i love …. what good for large areas ….. it is not for us …. we are the poor simple ……. We were created within a small circle and we must stay in it ….. Whoever designed it knows and knows who we are … perhaps I forgot the art of speaking … and I forgot to talk, or some of it …. I used to talk to walls most of the time …. or I talk to myself … even deluded myself that I was there ………… that I Shy of my children …. my trip was to find a better future for them …. Perhaps I spent in this period the amount I saved for them ……. I will not be able to try again … I will return penniless … zero hands. … I did not achieve any sign for them except for the loss of time and money ….. I will return to my little house ….. Because Heaven is not worthy of us and looking at heaven is forbidden to us ….. And the sin of Adam and Eve we inherited to Forever ………

21 comments

  1. appleve · مايو 10

    I understand how you’re feeling!
    Things will not be the same again for all of us! I had experience even greater pain that I can imaged in my life during this isolation issue , my life maybe like yours will not be the same !! Keep strong
    Eve.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. vadaaj · مايو 10

    You have laid yourself quite bare in a most haunting and lovely manner. I fear, yet embrace this Idea that the changes this virus has brought about will somehow close the gaps lately lacking in humanity. Hope still exist, grab hold.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Craig White · مايو 11

    Hope you are well my friend 🙏💙🙏

    Liked by 3 people

  4. pinchecafe · مايو 12

    I run a little Coffee House in the city I live -in México- with my girlfriend, there was no quarantine for us, the rent and a lot of other expenses, like a lot of people around the world. In my work I’ve seen a curious thing, and that’s what a I can offer you, the people that can or have been obligated to quarantine, once they hace the opportunity to talk with a different person, even an stranger, they “overtalk” themselves. They talk, and talk and talk, we hear them, we like to have conversation with people that’s one of the reason we opened a coffee house. We can see the joy and the relief on their faces, even if it’s just a little moment while they wait for their coffee or snack. Of course, they seem a little bit . . . Disoriented? But there’s something beautiful on it . . . Few filters, much more honesty. And if they can, you will, and maybe you don’t have to do so much effort to achieve it, and even if you find yourself blocked, or feel broken, there’s people that can help you getting this trough (and I mean a psychologist), there’s a saying here in Mexico: If you think you can’t, you’re right, if you think you can, Maybe. The point of all of this is that maybe at the beginning you will have to force yourself to achive the first steps, then, maybe it’ll become easier and easier.
    I Hope this big nonsense can help you, and I beg your pardon, my english it’s not very good. Send you strength.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Mounzer · مايو 12

      My dear, I thank you with all my heart for this wonderful speech, which raises my spirits, but you know, if the glass is broken, it cannot be repaired and needs a new glass …. My friend, I lost a lot of things and the compensation is difficult … and the most important thing I lost it is the future of my family …. I can no longer help them, or offer them something, unfortunately …. I will return broken without wings, I will run away from myself .. I have been destroyed.. 🌹🙏🤔..

      Liked by 1 person

      • pinchecafe · مايو 12

        Maybe you don’t have to replace the glass, you can always learn “kitsungi”. I know the compensation will be very hard, but, as the philosopher Michael Foucault said: there’s no more sad thing that the fight you don’t do; and another saying from my country: the heavy makes de donkey work; it means that the necessity makes find the way. By now it looks you’re depressed my friend, and I beg you to find some help, if it isn’t something you can reach for economic reasons, you can count on me, something we could do. Besides, I hope your family helps you put your wings back on its place.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mounzer · مايو 12

        My friend, I am fifty years old, to work, my health will not help me, I want capital to start again, this blog may help me, somewhat, through some friends, I am trying to open a special account to make donations, so that I can do a small project, maybe a restaurant Or a coffee shop … it depends on friends … Greetings to you and thank you for your sympathy for my condition … 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      • pinchecafe · مايو 12

        Nothing to say thank you, that’s why we are here, and if I can help you with anything I’ll do it with pleasure. I hope you find the strength and the creativity to get this done.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Mounzer · مايو 12

        I am very proud to have any friend like you. I give you the hat. Respect. I wish you a happy life. Thank you again.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mounzer · مايو 12

        In any case, I will open an account to provide donation and support for me and my family, because no one buys articles and novels that I write …. despite the admiration of many of them … but it is useless …. I may find someone who buys them or contracts with me for them … Can you help me with that?

        Liked by 1 person

      • pinchecafe · مايو 12

        Maybe I can, one of my friends has his book published recently, why don’t you send me an abstract of your history, I’ll see what I can do.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mounzer · مايو 12

        You can find everything I want to publish here, take a good idea of ​​my writing, and there are parts of novels here …. Thank you

        Liked by 1 person

      • pinchecafe · مايو 12

        My email is a7exandroj@, Gmail 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • Mounzer · مايو 12

        OK, thank you for your cooperation 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

  5. viewfromoverthehill · مايو 12

    You’re certainly not alone. Many of us are experiencing the very same during this difficult time. It WILL get better. Hopefully soon. All the best…

    Liked by 3 people

  6. bn11nb · مايو 13

    I read your post with both sadness and delight. Sadness because of your separation from your loved ones and happiness as you have the power to stay within your confines. I think you can do no better than protect yourself so you are able to return to a new normal in the future. You will be able to say to yourself ‘… I did that for me and my family …’. I wish you and your family wellness and happiness in the future.

    I will now read your post more and please know there are people who admire your determination.

    Liked by 3 people

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